Sunday 30 March 2014

There's No Accounting for Stupidity

As soon as Wiltshire sees the first flecks of golden sunshine in the Spring, SWMBO takes it upon herself - and every other hale and hearty individual within easy grabbing distance - to remodel WiSBAng Towers - or at least the garden.   It also means that yours truly gets called upon to head for Amesbury and the tip  to get rid of all that old clutter that has been waiting outside the kitchen door for just such an opportunity.

It was Mother's Day as well, so how could I possibly refuse such a request?  I couldn't, could I?

Car duly laden with rubbish - the greatest volume being all those non-bottle plastic containers that are eminently recyclable, but which Wiltshire Council haven't the wit to recycle - off I went.

Not the actual event!


The first hurdle was, of course, Longbarrow Roundabout, the A303 was almost empty as I approached in the middle lane (the far left hand one is way too hard to negotiate at anything over 20mph) , the car behind appeared to want to go to Salisbury as he kept to the far right.  The car coming south on the A360 from Shrewton, carrying Mr and Mrs Miggins on a nice day out in the country, clearly expected me to go north onto the A360, so lurched onto the roundabout, intending to go left onto the A303.  Mr Miggins panicked when he saw me still heading east and pulled into the right-hand exit lane onto the A303 - as if to give me a bit of room - I moved left to avoid him.

That might have been alright - except Brain Dead Brian in the blue Astra who had appeared to want to go to Salisbury, had in fact headed straight across the roundabout at high speed - only to find Mr Miggins doing 20 mph in his path. Oh, dear.  What could Brain Dead Brian do?  Pull left in front of me and try and undertake Mr Miggins of course.   It didn't work.  Mr Miggins saw the blue Astra in his rear view mirror and also pulled into the left hand lane.  Thankfully, no contact was made.

As we drew alongside Stonehenge, Mr Miggins stopped - not on the roadside, but bang in the middle of the carriageway.  Brain Dead Brian kept his hand on the horn for some time - the first responsible thing he had done.  Mr Miggins took notice and slowly drove down into Stonehenge Bottom - before predictably, trying to turn on to the verge.  

I say trying, as he clearly didn't have enough revs to get over the kerb and so started rolling backwards towards Brian.   Brian, Brain Dead to the last, pulled onto the westbound carriageway, almost headlong into a small camper van.  Again, for the second time, a near miss.

The rest of the trip and my time at the tip was almost uneventful.  Going home, we had to slow to a crawl to allow a driver to take a snap of the stones - if it appears on Twitter, I'll post it here with the name of the photographer attached!   We then came to a standstill as 3 cars in convoy decided to turn right, then left, then not bother at Byway 12.

When I finally got home, SWMBO asked if would like to make a second trip.  I gracefully declined!




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